I Can't Do This!
by Yondaime Namikaze
Summary: I can't do this. I can't do this. I can't do this by myself. I can't do this. I can't do this. Oh God, I need Your help. SEQUEL TO SAFE IN MY ARMS. READ SAFE IN MY ARMS FIRST OR YOU MIGHT NOT UNDERSTAND SOME PARTS OF THIS STORY.


**So, I decided not to do a continuation of Safe In My Arms. Instead, I'm back with a sequel. This oneshot will be written in the same style as SIMA; the only difference is that it takes place several years later.**

**A note about Captured!: The second chapter is up and the third chapter is ready to be typed and posted soon.**

**As for now, enjoy this new story.**

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I Can't Do This!  
Grade Level: 4.3

Three years. It has been three years since that day in the rain. I'm sure that you'd expect me to say that Naruto and I got married eventually and lived happily ever after, right? Yeah right. I wish. Only half of that dream came true.

True enough, Naruto and I did get married. It was about, I don't know, about a year and a half ago, that Naruto, Konoha's newest and youngest Hokage was killed.

The sad part about this wasn't entirely that Naruto was killed. No, the saddest part was that about a week or so later, I found out that I was pregnant. Yes, I, Sakura Uzumaki was expecting Naruto's child and he went to the grave not knowing any different.

Nine months later, alone, I welcomed a healthy baby boy into my life. Maybe it was the baby's small locks of blond hair or maybe it was my grief over the death of my new husband, but I felt compelled to name my son after his father.

So it was decided. I left Konoha Hospital the next day carrying Naruto Sasuraiya Uzumaki. I had decided that the boy's middle name would be a combination of the names of Naruto's late sensei and Sasuke Uchiha, my childhood crush, who still hadn't returned to the village.

Now, that brings us to the present…

I woke up late that morning. Ever since Naruto had passed on, I was never early to anything. It was a wonder how I always made it on time. I always dragged myself everywhere and I always wondered how I was able to make it through the days.

After I was fully clothed and ready for another day at the Konoha Hospital where I worked as a medic ninja, I walked over to the next room where my one-year old son was already awake and sitting up in his crib. "Okay, Sasuraiya, are you ready to eat?"

I just couldn't call him "Naruto" just yet, because he looked so much like his father that if I were to call him "Naruto", I would start convincing myself that he was Naruto and I couldn't handle that just yet.

I gently lifted my son out of his crib, noticing how much heavier he was. Man, just like Naruto, Sasuraiya was growing up way too fast.

After my son was done with his small breakfast, I dressed him for his day at the hospital's childcare center. Then, when that was finished, I headed to the hospital, carrying Sasuraiya as I walked.

I smiled as I put Sasuraiya on the floor at the childcare center. He always did seem to enjoy playing with the other kids, just as Naruto always had. Luckily though, my son was never shunned as Naruto had been.

A nurse who was walking by noticed me and got my attention. "Sakura, Lady Tsunade wants to see you."

My voice remained stoic as I replied, "Okay." With one last look at my son, I headed to Lady Tsunade office.

I guessed that she was going to fire me. She had every right to. Ever since Naruto died, my work ethic had really declined. I need to change.

I knocked on the frame of Tsunade's open door and then I let myself in. Tsunade noticed me and motioned for me to shut the door and take a seat in one of the chairs in front of her desk.

After I did all that, Tsunade began her speech. "Listen, Sakura. I know that you don't want to hear this, but you're not working as well as you used to. You're constantly late and your work isn't as well done. I know that your upset by the untimely death of Naruto, but it's been over a year. You have to move on and leave the past behind."

Tears rolled down my face as I replied, "I can't, Lady Tsunade. I can't do this anymore. Every time I look at Sasuraiya, I see Naruto. I can't live without him anymore. I need some help."

"All you have to do is ask, Sakura. Everybody is willing to help you. We all miss the cheery you. Also, think of your son. Do you really want young Naruto to grow up with a mother who is no fun because she dwells on her past life and doesn't move on away from her losses?"

I shook my head no. "I don't want that at all. What kind of mother would I be if I were to let that happen?"

Tsunade smiled. "I'm glad that you can finally see. Now, I wish you luck in your recovery. Now, go start your shift or you'll be here for the late shift."

I smiled a genuine smile and gave a nod. "Yes, Lady Tsunade."

I finished all of my work a little before three. It seemed as if my little talk with Lady Tsunade had helped a lot, because I almost felt again like I did before Naruto died.

A lot had happened today. I had assisted my friend Ino with the birth of her and Lord Hokage Shikamaru's first child, a young girl. I guess that I could say that I was a little jealous of Ino, but, as Lady Tsunade told me, no sense dwelling in the past with our losses.

I quickly went to the childcare center and picked up Sasuraiya. He seemed very eager to leave because all of his other childhood friends had been picked up.

I picked Sasuraiya up and carried him with me out to the street to walk home. Once we got out into the bright, warm, sunlight, Sasuraiya squirmed in my arms. I let him down and allowed him to walk on his own.

A little ways down the road, I stopped and the soft, warm, wind ruffled my short, pink hair. As if sensing my discomfort, Sasuraiya turned and noticed that I had stopped walking.

I didn't notice when he came over and pulled a little on my hand. This motion pulled me out of my thoughts and I allowed myself to continue on toward my home.

The rest of the night passed rather quickly, compared to others. I immediately made dinner for Sasuraiya, since he was complaining and it was after five when we arrived home.

After I put Sasuraiya down for the night, I went back out to the living room. I sat down in Naruto's favorite chair. It didn't feel right. The normally soft chair felt so cold and vacant without Naruto.

I remembered sitting in it with him a couple winters ago. It had been a cold night and our heaters were broken, but just being in his arms was enough to keep me warm for the whole night.

I sat there and stared out at nothing. **_I can't do this. I can't pretend that nothing's wrong. It tears me up inside. Naruto, I need your help._**

Suddenly, something strange happened. I couldn't believe my eyes. I blinked my eyes a couple times, but he didn't leave. Naruto was standing in our living room.

"Naruto," I whispered.

He turned and saw me. "Sakura," he said as he came to me and gave me a hug.

"Naruto," I whispered again. "How are you here?"

"You called me, Sakura. You summoned me."

Without thinking, I replied, "I'm so sorry, Naruto. I'm so self-centered. I should've allowed you to rest in peace, but instead, I'm calling your spirit back to Earth."

Naruto pulled away from me and saw that I was crying. He used one hand to quickly wipe the tears off my face and then he put both hands in mine and pulled me up out of his chair. "Don't say that, Sakura. I wanted to come back. I wanted to see you again."

Then, he kissed me. Even though, he was a ghost and he technically shouldn't be in my living room with me, the kiss felt so right and I found myself pulling deeper into it.

Naruto was the first to break away. He stepped back with a slightly worried look. I guess he didn't want anything more…extreme to happen.

"Sakura, my time is almost up. Remember, if you ever need my help again, you can summon me at any time."

I gave him a tight hug. "No, I don't want you to leave!"

"Sakura, don't worry. I will always watch over you. By the way, I've seen you with a young boy. Whose child is he?"

"Naruto, Naruto, oblivious as ever. He's your son. I even named him after you."

A classic Naruto smile appeared on the deceased ninja's/Hokage's face. "Really? So his name is Naruto?"

I smiled back. "That's right. Naruto Sasuraiya Uzumaki. I've just been calling him Sasuraiya though." I stopped there. I couldn't tell him why, because if I did, I knew that he would surely tell me to just move on.

"Sasuraiya?" Naruto asked, obviously not comprehending my method of blending names.

"Yeah," I replied, "a combination of Sasuke and your sensei, Jiraiya."

Naruto nodded. "Oh, I understand now." After a pause, he voiced one of his last opinions. "I think that you should just call him Naruto. It doesn't take as much effort to say. If you're worried that by doing this, you're comparing your son to me, don't worry. Just remember that Naruto is just a combination of both of us. Therefore, you're just seeing more of me then you are of you. Man, it feels so weird to say my name in the third-person like that."

"Thank you, Naruto. You've made me feel so much better."

Naruto's ghostly form shimmered and began to disappear. I noticed this and reached out to grasp onto his hand. I grabbed nothing but air. "No, don't go, Naruto! I still need you!"

Naruto shook his head. "No, you're okay for now. Remember, I'll always be with you, in here." He gestured to my heart. "Also, you can summon me anytime you need someone. I'll always come back for you, Sakura. Take care of Naruto for me and don't forget to tell him about me."

On that note, Naruto completely disappeared with an unnatural wind. I felt the wind swipe away my tears one last time and then I knew that he was truly gone for now.

"I know that you will always come back, but I feel that Naruto and I might be alright for now," I whispered. "Come back soon, my Lord Hokage Naruto Uzumaki."

Here are the lyrics to the song I used:

I Can't Do This by Plumb

_I woke up late  
Guess I'm never really early  
I hesitate, only to fail  
I get so tired, of procrastinating  
I need a change_

_I can't do this  
I can't do this  
I can't do this by myself  
I can't do this  
I can't do this  
Oh God, I need Your help_

_I'm standing still  
I'm oh, so peaceful  
I can't pretend, that I'm fine  
I get so ill, crazy, agitated  
When I've not really died_

_I can't do this  
I can't do this  
I can't do this by myself  
I can't do this  
I can't do this  
Oh God, I need Your help_

_Press into me  
Breathe me in  
Bask in me  
You'll be free to do anything_

_I can't do this  
I can't do this  
I can't do this by myself  
I can't do this  
I can't do this  
Oh God, I need Your help_

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**OMG, I just killed Naruto. I can't believe I did that…, but it was essential to the story.**

**This was really hard to write, but I think that it came out okay.**

**Anyway, I'm thinking about doing a sequel to this story as well. Anybody want that? Let me know.**

**I hope that this is okay, because, as I said, I worked hard on this. It took me all day.**


End file.
